Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri uses humor to disguise her heart. She knows it just is what it is, but it is better to hide in the humor, then drown in the pain.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is feeling slightly overwhelmed by life. She just needs to pause, praise and pray.
1 Peter 5:7
7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Somehow through God's grace Sheri, Bob and "Al" have made it through another year. Today is their 27th wedding anniversary. Sheri knows it just is what it is, but Sheri is finding it difficult to remember life with out "Al" in it, but then again she doesn't really want to.  Sheri needs to pause, praise and pray.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri has noticed that her heart feels very heavy, but her busy life does not even allow her private time to cry. (Or do the dishes.)

Living with Bob and "Al"

It was raining out yesterday when Sheri picked "the boys" up from "work" (code for Adult Day Center.) Bob was surprised by the rain as he bent his lean 6'4 frame over to climb into the car. "When did this start?" Bob asked. Before Sheri could answer "Al" added " I was working outside here most of the day moving the stuff around with the blue prints and it wasn't raining then."  :)

Heavy sigh... 

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sometimes Sheri sits and studies Bob face
Taking her back, to a different time a different place.

A time when Bob's mind was clear and sharp
A time when Bob could take anything apart

A time when the problems he solved were great
A time when those problems had him work late

A time when everyone knew Bob was the boss
A time work came first and Sheri was cross

A time that Sheri did not understand
all the reasons Bob needed a plan

A time  Sheri felt very lost and alone
A time she thought Bob's heart was as cold as a stone

Sometimes Sheri sits and studies Bob face
Taking her back, to a different time a different place.

Living with Bob and "Al"

As "Al" struggles with simple basic life tasks, Sheri misses Bob the build anything, fix anything, man that built shelves from floor to ceiling to support all of Sheri's shall we say creativity. Bob never complained about her "creativity" obsession (code for to much craft stuff), so it is Sheri's turn to deal with Bob and "Al's" hand slapping, "Al's" version of "creativity obsession".  :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is seeing those changes again, the ones that remind her that they are losing this Alzheimer battle they are in. "Al" woke up several times over the last few nights asking if it was time to go home. Sheri just reached over and patted "Al's" arm and said, " in a little while".
Sheri hates this disease.
2 Corinthians 4:16
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

Liviing with Bob and "Al"

Dear Bob, can you please ask "Al" to wait OUTSIDE the bathroom door for Sheri, when Sheri is inside the bathroom.
That would be much appreciated. :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is in need of a hug. Is there an app for that?

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri has been trying to take take better care of herself. She has not succeeded in all areas, but she is finally caught up and all her dental needs. She feels good about that, since her dentist anxiety had her shaking in the chair at each visit. She is hoping to keep working on other areas of her health, but the stresses of life with Bob and "Al" keep getting in the way, and it is the busy season at work and she is tired all the time. Sheri knows she just needs to pause, praise and pray although sometimes it is easier said then done.
Isaiah 31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri thinks she may have unintentionally convinced herself that if she kept the routine exactly the same every day and if she watched what Bob did closely enough, that she could hold "Al" at bay and only subtle changes would come. Although she knows the structure she gives certainly helps, there is no stopping the invasion of "Al". With each new phase of care, she finds herself challenging her lines in the sand. As caregivers we feel defeated when change appears. The more personal nature of these new needs has left Sheri feeling like she has crossed the line into quick sand and is... sinking.
Sheri hates this disease.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri knows God has a plan for her life. Although she often hopes this wicked disease will not consume her like it has Bob in its deadly process, she does realize it has taught her many things about herself she may not have learned otherwise. Maybe, just maybe that was the plan.

Ephesians 4:2
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is so excited she found something very important to her, one of the last things Bob made for her. She thought she lost it in the move, when she lost her home to what Sheri likes to call "Alzheimer's foreclosure" here is the post from her blog when Bob had made the gift from 2010.

In Sheri's endless pursuit to find a hobby or something that Bob and "Al" can occupy their time with during the day , Sheri thought that whittling might be a good idea, after all "they" love to build things and work with wood. So Sheri got some wood and some whittling knives feeling confident that this would work she even got a beginner book for them. She eagerly gave Bob and "Al"  the book and the 4 by 6 inch block of wood with all the assorted items. She was so excited, this would be something they would enjoy, and would provide hours if not days of creative joy. So they looked at the book together "Oh", Bob said.... "okay I will try the ladybug" "They" knew Sheri liked ladybugs. Sheri left for work knowing that they had a project that would take several days to complete. Sheri came home from work for lunch that afternoon... Bob and Al had a big smile on their face"Well I figured it out, it is finished" Bob said with confidence. Sheri said "what is finished?" "The ladybug" they said. Sheri was shocked,"really?" she said. "Yes " they said "Why would any one make a ladybug with such a little knife?" "I just took the belt sander and zip...It is a little flat but at least it's done."
 Okay,... so maybe whittling isn't their thing.....
  Back to the drawing board..... :)

Sheri found it in a box in the garage, complete with it's push pin legs, it made her heart smile 1/2015

           

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri has realized she might be running in overdrive again. She has learned to recognize the symptoms. The depression sneaks up and tears start to flow. She thinks it might be time for a camera day. Taking pictures nurtures happiness for Sheri. Simple pleasures. she likes to call it. What nurtures happiness for you?

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is remembering a time many years ago, when she thought Bob was just not listening to her. She desperately wanted to have deep meaningful talks and discussions. It seemed like the harder she tried, the more distant Bob got. She begged him to talk to her, sometime she would say "what are you thinking, say the first thing that comes into your head." Sheri knows now that it was not that Bob would not respond, "Al" could not respond. The neurological tests they did back on 2008, showed (among other things) that Bob did not have the ability to go into his head and think of something to say. Sheri was dumbfounded. Those tests answered every question she ever had about Bob. Sheri had to come to terms with a relationship with "Al". A relationship that still changes daily.

Sheri is sure God has a plan for her life. She just needs to pause, praise and pray.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is drained and tired. Sometimes she thinks maybe she is in denial about how much longer she can care for Bob and "Al" at home. She write this blog daily because Alzheimer's is a daily disease. It is not just the spot you see on the news, or the quick mention on the radio.
It is a personal blog, because Alzheimer's is personal disease. It affects the most personal of issues and it is happening everywhere to someone and that someone's caregiver, every moment of every day. As caregivers we just keep evolving to meet the demands of the evolving disease, making our perspective on our world distorted and convincingly tolerable.
 Then even as Sheri says that in her head, her heart is still beating to a different drummer, for reasons even Sheri does not understand.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Like for many, Christmas and the holidays, have changed over the years. As she watches Bob fade into the shadows, Sheri cares less and less about the material things of this world and more about family, friends and enjoying time together.
 Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas, stay safe and hug your loved ones.


John 3:16For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life

Living with Bob and "Al"

Bob must have watched a Christmas movie at "work" yesterday. As Sheri left the Day Care Center parking area, "Al" looked around and said "I don't see many people from work's cars, they were having trouble with the dancers, certainly not sugarplums, no initiative to do anything thing at all."
Heavy sigh... :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri struggles with the lack of affection and relationship in her life. There are no answers to this issue. The truth is, it had been this way even long before "Al" was officially moved in. She knows it is not Bob's fault, but jealousy sets in quickly when she sees other couples their age, walking hand in hand or sharing a quiet moment on a park bench. She tries to just pause, praise and pray, in those moments, but the truth is it is not easy, and she is still human.

Proverbs 14:30  A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.