Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri was honored to meet one of the readers of her blog yesterday, by accident. Sheri ran to lunch in a local mall close to her work, and a mutual friend was having lunch with this sweet lady. This sweet lady has her own "Al" and is finally involving some assessment aid from social workers. The pain of her decision was apparent and yet there was a look of relief buried deep within her eye as well. There are so very many of us out here in the big wide world dealing with the affects of this wretched disease. We need to support each other in any way we can. Sheri is thankful the internet gives her a way to connect with people so they can embrace each others pain. We are all just doing life together.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is in that place again. The one that comes on with out warning. The one where her heart is in her throat at all times. Usually it means she needs a few hours to herself to breathe and think. She hates when she is in this place, it is suffocating. She thinks it came to the surface yesterday when her new boss asked her when she was taking her vacation. Vacation? Vacation is bonus sick time in the Alzheimer world. You never know when the bottom is going to drop out so you save every available moment of paid time off to ensure you have a job to come back to, it is the nature of the beast.
Sheri hates this disease.

Matthew 11:28

 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 

29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 

30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri misses conversation, true, deep, meaningful conversation... and hugs.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri was feeling under the weather this weekend, but being a caregiver gives you little time to think of yourself. Bob was going stir crazy about "the plan" so Sheri loaded up the car and set out to take pictures. Of course every where they went "Al" shared tales of how he had been there before and had walked every street,but because she wasn't feeling great they spent most of the time riding in the car, which always seems to keep Bob and "Al" happy and content. She did manage to snap some shots though... which made Sheri happy and content as well. :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri's heart needs some attention.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is drained and tired. Sometimes she thinks maybe she is in denial about how much longer she can care for Bob and "Al" at home. She write this blog daily because Alzheimer's is a daily disease. It is not just the spot you see on the news, or the quick mention on the radio.
It is a personal blog, because Alzheimer's is personal disease. It affects the most personal of issues and it is happening everywhere to someone and that someone's caregiver, every moment of every day. As caregivers we just keep evolving to meet the demands of the evolving disease, making our perspective on our world distorted and convincingly tolerable.
 Then even as Sheri says that in her head, her heart is still beating to a different drummer, for reasons even Sheri does not understand.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri feels bad, but she has realized this week that pain makes her grouchy. She knows it is not Bob or "Al's" fault but "Al" wants to know the plan, and Sheri just wants the plan to be MAKE THE PAIN IN HER MOUTH STOP!
 Care giving is hard enough when you feel fine, but when you feel bad... well quite frankly it sucks.
(I apologize for the s word, Bob would be appalled)

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri had s wisdom tooth extracted yesterday. Brain is still foggy today, but with Thanksgiving a round the corner Sheri is thinking of where she was just a few short years ago. So this morning before the Vicodin kicks again she will take a moment to share how thankful she and take a glimpse back at all the things has to be thankful for God is good.


Year in Review  from 2011
Sheri is very happy and willing to have this year of 2011 come to an end.
1.In  January Bob ruptured a disk in his back., for about the 4th time.
2,February spent with multiple procedures to lessen extreme pain, without surgery.
3.Bob and Al spent March and half of April in a nursing home, undergoing physical therapy.
4.Mid April Bob and Al release to daycare, doctors decided he can not be left alone any more so daycare was the only option to avoid him continually injuring himself.
5. May Sheri decides she is in overwhelm and that they would be better off in Texas closer to her parents, weather better, no snow no boiler to deal with.
Sheri gives notice to job of 22 years in anticipation of the move.
Sheri has to let the house go to beginning of the foreclosure prosess and has to file bankruptcy.
6.June Sheri begins the process of packing the house for Texas.
7.July still packing and sorting, packing in sorting, packing and sorting,
8.Beginning of August Sheri finds out benefits for Bob and Al will not be the same in TX, and daughter number 2's ( the one that shields her heart with her sleeve) 4 year college scholarship is partially based on being a MN resident EEK.
Sheri, within a week of moving,  began to have doubts about her decision and after much prayer decides too much is at risk, and stops the move. Stops the move with no home no job.Only faith.
9.Most of August and September Sheri spends job and home searching, relying on Gods promises.
10.October Sheri beings to panic, the sheriff sale of her home is November 21. October 25th, God gives Sheri a home and a job all in the same week. An unbelievable answer to prayer.
11.November week one starts her new job and week 2 through the grace of God and help from friends at church gets moved to a new home.
12.December the family is mostly settled, very, very thankful and so very ready to be done with 2011!
Having to make all the decisions, as an Alzheimer spouse is very, very difficult, Sheri can not believe she and the family survived this year!

Sheri is wishing everyone a very blessed new year! God is good!

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri worries about everything. The frozen tundra, driving on the frozen tundra, money, the car, the heater in the car, the heat in the house, Bob , "Al", her kids, her parents, her job, you name it and Sheri can find a reason to worry about it. It is not that she doesn't know that she has absolutely no control over these things and that she should pause, praise and pray, because she does do these things. Sheri does not even have a "she think's it is because" insight for this one.

Matthew 6:25-34

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ?  "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'  For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri just does not get it. "Al" as been whistling "Can I have this dance for the rest of my life" for a week and a half now. Which is some what ironic, Sheri always wanted Bob to dance with her, which he never did, even before "Al" moved in.This was not a song that Sheri even thought Bob knew, and she was right... she asked Bob the name of the song he was whistling and "Al" leaned to one side, thumb in his belt loop, stretching out Bob's back in his usual way and replied "Oh I don't know,,, was I whistling?"

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri has a "bucket" list, she knows for most people the "bucket list" is things a person wants to do before they die. For Sheri as a caregiver it is a list of things to she needs to do "to survive". She is sure other caregivers feel this way too, it is so hard to get their own needs (and I mean needs) taken care of. Daughter number one (the one who wears her heart on her sleeve) stayed with Bob and "Al", Sheri found an office that takes evening appointments and she got herself back to the dentist. Not exactly her favorite thing to do. So Sheri gets to cross one of her bucket list. Oh yeah, making progress.