Sheri thinks she may have unintentionally convinced herself that if she kept the routine exactly the same every day and if she watched what Bob did closely enough, that she could hold "Al" at bay and only subtle changes would come. Although she knows the structure she gives certainly helps, there is no stopping the invasion of "Al". With each new phase of care, she finds herself challenging her lines in the sand. As caregivers we feel defeated when change appears. The more personal nature of these new needs has left Sheri feeling like she has crossed the line into quick sand and is... sinking.
Sheri hates this disease.
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Hi Sheri-
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog and wanted to thank your for your posts. I am right along with you in the journey of Alzheimer's. I am sending prayers!
Erin
Hi Erin, I am so sorry you are on this journey too :( Thank you letting me know you are reading the blog, prayers and cyber hugs to you :)
DeleteSheri, I know exactly what you mean about those lines, I look after my Mum, and I keep thinking that this is a new low point, it can't get any worse than this, and then it does. As a friend so nicely put it, I am now well versed in excrement management! (I love that phrase, makes me laugh as I'm doing a clean up)
ReplyDelete:) That is defintely a great phrase! Thank you for the laugh!
ReplyDeleteI have watched lovely people who sacrificed themselves long after they pushed that line forward, and pushed it forward again. And at the end, there were no thank you's. Nothing was gained. It is just soooo hard to know, when is that line, when is the time, that nobody benefits from moving the line forward some more?
ReplyDeleteFor one relative it was when Al would ask for a beer every two minutes. For another, it was when the carer's name was forgotten. Both Als seemed to be happier and healthier in care, even if a laughing and smiling Al #2 would begin frowning the moment she saw us arrive for a visit. I have also worked in case, and witnessed the wonderful "families" formed between residents and carers.
I read your blog every day Sheri, you are an amazing lady, under such enormous strain. I do hope that your own needs also get factored into the decisions a little more. We are all only human, no matter what we feel we "should" do for our loved ones. x
Thank you for your kind words Anonymous, and thank you for your words of wisdom and for reading m blog.
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