Living with Bob and "Al"

March 18th, 1989
Today is Sheri and Bob's 28th anniversary.
The song "One Moment in Time" By Whitney Houston was Sheri and Bob's Wedding Song.
 One day at a time is all we are promised.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri has been keeping all the plates spinning and all the balls in the air for a very long time. But one of the balls (her transportation for the boys) fell, landing on one of the spinning plates and Sheri is afraid she is losing her race against time.
Sheri needs pause , praise and pray.

Living with Bob and "Al"

When Sheri picked up Bob from "work" code for Adult Day Center yesterday, everyone was sitting outside as they often do in the summer. Sheri was surprised to see Bob wearing a sweater. Sheri realized that Bob must have been cold and they loaned him a sweater. The only problem was "Al" did not know that, and when they asked for it back "Al" became agitated. It just so happens that Bob has a sweater at home so "Al" was convinced this was it. So convinced that when they got in the car, "Al" started rummaging through Sheri's purse and the console and trying to reach into the back seat. When Sheri asked Bob what he was looking for Bob replied through clenched teeth  "I am looking for my sweater that they took from me". Sheri started to try to explain and quickly realized that was not going to work because Bob was shaking his head in anger. So instead Sheri said "Look at the  big fence over there" to which "Al" replied " I built that all by myself." "WOW you were a busy guy." Yes I was, I painted it too, have you seen my sweater?" Thinking fast Sheri said, "Oh you had a little paint on it so it is in the wash." To which "Al" titling his head to one side said " Oh, okay."  :)
Oy vey.

Living with Bob and "Al"

There are days when Bob and "Al"can barely get any sentences put together, and then there are days the boys surprise her. "Al"offered Sheri some of Bob's bolts yesterday morning. Sheri politely declined and said "Oh thanks, but those are for you." "Al" replied "They give me these bolts when I sing in the choir so I have "beaucoup". She just chuckled in wonderment to herself, Bob has been known to throw in a German word here or there, or even a "Ya, you bet'cha" but she doesn't ever remember any French coming out of his mouth. What a strange disease. :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri asked Daughter Number One to pick up Bob from work (code for Adult Day Center) yesterday. She decided to take him to out to dinner. When Bob asked Daughter Number One where they were going, she replied "to dinner at Perkins." "Al" with a bit of distress in his voice replied " I hope my wife won't mind."
Well, he knew he had a wife :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

If Sheri were honest, she would tell you that she has a hard time getting excited about things. Sheri, for a long time has let her life be led by its circumstances and she has had a bit of a "cautionary tale" feeling about her life. She is learning to rely on God, not just for direction, but for giving her the ability to trust her decisions, and giving her permission to put some parameters around her anxiety driven world, and learn to enjoy life, even with Bob and "Al".
Sheri will continue to pause, praise and pray.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is very tired of being sick. The doctor added sinus infection to the illness list with the virus . She has been doing all the home remedies for the virus but to no avail. At least they gave her medicines for the sinus part. Sheri hates being a sick caregiver.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri was sure there was a lesson in this sickness somewhere, and there is. Sheri needs to look back on this week of sickness when she is better and remember how much harder care-giving is when the caregiver is sick and be thankful for her overall good health and she is going to do that... as soon as she gets better.
Sheri needs to pause, praise and pray.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri's man's man, handyman Bob, hobbled in the kitchen last evening with of all things, a cherry red lollipop (which he got from who knows where) in his mouth. (Sheri can honestly say that was the first time in 27 years she has seen Bob eat a lollipop ) but with "Al"s thumb in Bobs belt loop stretching out his back in his usual way, "Al" removed the lollipop from Bob's mouth making that  slurrpy sucking sound,  and with his eyes wide with excitement and a smile of a 6 year old said "yum, here do you want some too?" It took everything Sheri had, to hold her giggles in and say "No, no thank you that one is special just for you. :)"
Simple pleasures, Sheri simple pleasures.

Living with Bob and "Al"

One thing Sheri has said many times is how much she misses true conversation. Bob was trying so hard to converse with Sheri yesterday as she mumbled about her sadness and anger about the state of the world. Bob was talking as well, his voice inflection even matched Sheri' but his conversation was about his nuts and bolts and how angry he was that no one else could do them.
Sheri just needs to pause, praise and pray, and converse with God.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Bob asked Sheri "where everyone was" yesterday. Out of pure curiosity, and not really expecting an answer,  Sheri replied "who is everybody"? "Al" replied all the people that sit in the room." Sheri finally realized "Al" thought he was at "work" (code for Adult Day Center) as Sheri unloaded Bob's nuts and bolt from "Al's" shorts pockets, because "Al" said " he was going to take those out.. when he got home." :(

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is glad it is the weekend. Work has been more than a tiny bit stressful. Now if she can just convince "Al" that the weekend is for relaxation... cause Sheri just doesn't have a "plan".

Living with Bob and "Al"

Dear Bob, Please ask "Al" if he knows any other song he can whistle in his sleep.  Sheri loves "To God be the Glory" but Sheri always feels like she needs to stand up and praise God, but honestly, she does not sleep well that way. :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri tries hard to find a balance of living in the moment and planing for the future. It is a very difficult task. She often thinks about the expected "boom" of people affected by this disease. The world is nowhere near ready. It will take a specialized army of professionals willing to challenge the current methods of care and finding affordable options for care for these individuals. Sheri knows there are a lot of good things happening in this arena, but she is sure like for herself, the task is overwhelming. Sheri knows there are no easy answers she is just speaking her fears out loud.
Sheri needs to pause, praise and pray.

Living with Bob and "Al"

It is 6:00 am and "Al" is slapping away. Heavy sigh... Sheri needs a THREE day plan, day one is accounted for  so 1 down two to go :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

Well yesterday was the day! Sheri went to the Arboretum  for her photography class courtesy of the Kathi Koll Foundation through nomination of The Caregivers Voice. It was 90 plus degrees outside and so humid you could hardly breathe, and even with the threats of tornados, but Sheri put on her big girl pants and what a wonderful experience. The breathtaking humidity was nothing compared to the beauty of this majestic bird!   There are three short clips and then the results! ( and yes this is what I look like when I go to take pictures lol! Don't tell any one :)

What a huge blessing! Thank you daughter number one for caring for Bob and "Al"!

Living with Bob and "Al"

Dear "Al",
There is really no reason to sneak around and try to work on your nuts and bolts  at 2:30am. Sheri promises Bob will let you work on them during day... with the light on.
Love Sheri

Living with Bob and "Al"

Daughter Number One ( The one who wears her heart on her sleeve) picked up " Bob and "Al" from "work" (code for Adult Day Center) one day last week, when Sheri had to work late. They were driving down the road when Bob apparently suggesting stopping to pick some of the purple flowers growing in  someone yard because "purple is Mom's favorite color". Daughter Number One was elated that he remembered Sheri's favorite color.  So figuring her Dad was having a good memory day she said "and what is your favorite color Dad?"  To which "Al" replied " I think I will just stick with Usingers bratwurst." Well, he was there in the moment :)
Small Blessings and simple pleasures.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri needs to make a note to self, keep door alarm set even during the day... "Al" over shot the bathroom by about 10 steps. :(

Living with Bob and "Al"

Dear "Al",
Sheri would appreciate it very much if you stop waking Bob up every hour. Sheri promises she won't let you miss "work" or choir.
P.S. a little more to the left in the bathroom department would be even more appreciated.
Love, Sheri