Living in the shadow of Alzheimer's

Sheri is still tripping over the shadow of Alzheimer's. She has tried running from it, ignoring it, pretending it didn't exist, and of course her old stand by of laughing at it. She knows she just needs to embrace it but it is so hard, because at the end of each day as the sun sets, the harsh shadows come back, but as she reaches for the shadow... it fades away.
Sheri needs to pause, praise and pray.

Living in the Shadow of Alzheimers

Sheri is still working on finding herself, and finding joy. Miss Elsie Rose turned one year old on Dec 30th..Sheri made a sock monkey out of Bob and "Äls" socks with a touch of Bob's flannel shirt, as her gift. Sheri definitely found the joy part. :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

One of the things Sheri was most touched by, is what her daughters shared at their Dads funeral. This is the video clip. When all is said and done this is all that matters in life, the lessons we learn , the people we love and seeing God in the worst of circumstances. God has blessed Sheri greatly. The video is about 10 minutes long. Turn your speakers up. Click on the funeral link below.

funeral

Living with Bob and "Al"

The beginning of the end Chapter 27

As the days dwindled down, Sheri and the girls watched Bob's earthly body deteriorate, and everyday was one step closer to total healing for "the boys". One day, in one very quick moment, Sheri was sure she saw Bob make eye contact with her. She saw the only eye that was slightly open, follow hers as she spoke to him comforting him, loving him, reassuring him. In that moment she knew Bob was close to being whole.

2 Corinthians 4:17-18

17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Living with Bob and "Al"

 The beginning of the end chapter 24
Sheri was overwhelmed, scrambling to make funeral arrangements.She had know idea how expensive a funeral was.  All in for casket burial $12,000.00 dollars with the least expensive casket. One funeral director  (who could tell Sheri was trying to be practical ) told Sheri to come to come back after he passed. Sheri felt like he thought she would by a more expensive casket in her grief.
At any rate, Bob had lost the ability to swallow and the expected date went from 10 days to 2 or three in the blink of an eye. 

2 Corinthians 4:16

Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

Living with Bob and "Al"

The beginning of the end Chapter 20

For the first week things seem to settle down a little, the aids felt like "the boys" were more awake during the morning, so Sheri tried to get there before work as often as she could. She tried to help feed "them". They were quickly losing their ability to swallow, (something that already started before hospice.) The soft creamy food was barely going down. Aspiration was a big concern at this point. Sheri was tired, and seeing Bob like this was heartbreaking.

Living with Bob and "Al"

The beginning of the end Chapter 9

The chest x-ray came back with a small amount of fluid in Bob's lungs, but apparently nothing to be too concerned about. By the time the results of the Brain CT scan came back it was a 8:30pm. Now because of all the drugs they had given "the boys" Bob and "Al" were pretty much catatonic. Sheri waited for the results of the last test, and when the doctor came in Sheri took a deep breath, and waited for what ever she was going to say next.

Living with Bob and "Al"

The beginning of the end Chapter 8

After three tries they decided it was time to change medicine, they were not able to get "the boys" to settle down. By now Sheri and "the boys" had been in the emergency room for 3.5 to 4 hours. Sheri was drained and wearing down quickly. She had to interact with "the boy's" every second of every minute, singing , humming, trying to keep him in the bed, those very long legs found there way back in the bed rails many times. After two doses of the new medicine and another hour, "the boys" were still enough to have the chest x-ray done, and after the third dose and 30 minutes later "they" were able to have the Brain MRI. Sheri felt like she had been through battle... she could not believe all of this was necessary.
Sheri knew she needed to pause, praise and pray, she felt alone and defeated.

Living with Bob and "Al"

The beginning of the end Chapter 6

Sheri waited patiently ( "the boy's" impatiently) for the doctor to come in and evaluate Bob's condition. About a half hour to 45 minutes in, a female doctor came in and read the chart and then turned to Sheri and asked why we were here what types of changes the facility had seen. Sheri took a deep breath and tried to explain what she knew. The doctor said they need to run a battery of tests and listed off a chest x-ray (Bob was coughing), blood work, a urine sample, and head CT scan. The doctor did her best to explain to Sheri why the tests needed to be done, Sheri said she felt that this was just a progression of the disease after all they were 10 years plus in this monster called Alzheimer's. The problem with that assumption apparently, was that the facility needed to know what was happening, because the 2 person assist was a change. They scheduled the tests and the first one, the urine test, was not attainable with out a catheter. The calming medicine they gave "the boys" was not working, they gave a second dose but to no avail. Sheri spent the next five minutes or so assisting the 2 nurses by laying across 6'4,strong as an ox Bob's chest holding "them" down while the nurses inserted the catheter. Bob and "Al" cried out in pain, Sheri went into her familiar survival mode (at least on the outside) on inside she was weeping uncontrollably.

Living with Bob and "Al"

The beginning of the end chapter 5

The nurse said they needed to start an IV, "the boys" were restless. In the previous week or so Bob's eyes were closed most of the time, whether sitting or laying or being fed ,but he was also doing very jerky movements with his arms, reaching and grabbing at the air and any thing in reach. Needless to say getting the IV in was a challenge. The ER was busy that late afternoon and there was no one available to help Sheri keep Bob in the bed as she waited for the doctor to assess "the boys". Sheri was frustrated because she was not even clear why they were in this ER battle. The nurse already had an order for some  "calming medicine". Sheri prayed it would kick in soon, because "Al" was already getting his grasping hands tangled in the IV line , Sheri knew it would only be a matter of time before "Al" pulled the IV right out of his arm.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri feels very blessed by all the support she has been shown in this very difficult time. This is the video of Bob's life we showed at the memorial service. Thank you again.

Living with Bob and "Al"

For those of you that are local who may wish to attend:

Funeral services for Bob Zschocher
Saturday May 26th, 2018
1:30 pm

Cross of Glory Church
4600 Shady Oak Rd.
Hopkins, MN 55343

Thank you,
Sheri

Living with Bob and "Al"

Thank you for all your prayers and support

                            Bob and "Al"

March 29th 1943 - May 22nd 2018                         

Pause, praise, pray

                      

 

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is so proud of daughter number1 and daughter number 2. They have grown into such compassionate caring young adults. They truly understand the devastation this disease brings. Each week they visit their Dad and they sing to him, very German Bob loved this song. The others in the facility enjoy their music as well. Sheri loves her children with all her heart. God is good.

Living with Bob and "Al"

This morning while Sheri was sitting on patio drinking her coffee, the first humming bird of the season flew right up with in inches of Sheri's face and stayed there for several seconds. A smile spread across Sheri's face as she heard the soft hum of it's wings. It felt like it was looking straight at her, and as it flew away Sheri thought she heard it calling "come follow me, there is so much more of this life to lead."

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri wonders about how to preserve Bob's (and everyone else's) dignity, young people that mean well, but don't understand these human beings have led a life, fathered children, learned many lessons, and served many people. Just because they can not communicate does not mean they can not hear you or understand you.
Sheri needs to pause praise and pray.  

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri thinks too much has happened in the last 48 hours to write here right now, so for now she will just say that Bob and "Al" are now on hospice care. When she catches up on her sleep and can think clearly she will try and find her voice again. She is struggling to pause, praise and pray.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri and the girls celebrated Bob and "Al's" 75th birthday together yesterday. The activities coordinator made "the boys" a chocolate cake! So very sweet of her :) All you have to say is chocolate to Bob to get "Al" to step out of the way for a very brief  moment. :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

There is a sharp contrast, from "the boys" a year ago, even since this past Christmas and now. Every once and a while Sheri can get him to sing a few words. This was the song he had a two line solo in , in the choir at the day center he attended for 5 years. A Pastor friend has been going with Sheri to pray over "the boys" and sing hymns with "them", my friend is holding Bob's hand keeping beat, "Al" is no longer capable.
Sheri's heart hurts.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Today March 18th is Sheri and Bob's 29th wedding anniversary. This year she did not hide from it. She found the cassette tape of their wedding vows and brought it with her to the facility where "the boys" live. She sat beside him wearing both of their wedding rings. She explained what the tape was. She played it through with no recognition from Bob, she did not expect any... she did it for herself. She is trying hard to reconcile her marriage, feelings of rejection, abandonment, and loneliness in the years before Bob was diagnosed. She paused. she praised, she prayed, she wept.