As those of you who have followed Sheri's journey know, she taught herself photography so that she had a hobby she could do with Bob and "Al". Well recently Sheri entered a local photography contest for the city she lives in. She is excited to say she made it into the finals!

If you care to view my picture and if you like it, give it a like! The link is below! It is the photo called Blue Heron Breakfast. The big bird with the fish in its mouth!

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?vanity=cityofedenprairie&set=a.922694283237586

Thank you for all your support!

Sheri

Still Living in the Shadow of Alzheimers

 As part of Sheri's doctors therapy plan, Sheri has gone back to the beginning of her blog and is reading it out loud ... Sheri is learning so much about herself.

Sheri is pausing, praising and praying. 

Each day that goes by Sheri sees people hurting all around her. She can't help thinking about all the people that are plucked from this world daily. They disappear, their loved ones mourn, there is gathering at the funeral, and then life just goes on. The world does not stop, business of life does not stop, we still need to eat, work, plan, shovel snow, it as if those that were lost were never here. Death happens to everyone. Sheri is not saying she needs more support , she does not.. these are just the facts. So the only thing that really matters is what you do right now in this moment, the smile you give, the gentle touch, the prayers you pray.

1 Corinthians 12:25-27 so that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. Now you are Christ’s body, and individually members of it.

Living with Bob and "Al"

One of the things Sheri was most touched by, is what her daughters shared at their Dads funeral. This is the video clip. When all is said and done this is all that matters in life, the lessons we learn , the people we love and seeing God in the worst of circumstances. God has blessed Sheri greatly. The video is about 10 minutes long. Turn your speakers up. Click on the funeral link below.

funeral

Living with Bob and "Al"

 The beginning of the end chapter 24
Sheri was overwhelmed, scrambling to make funeral arrangements.She had know idea how expensive a funeral was.  All in for casket burial $12,000.00 dollars with the least expensive casket. One funeral director  (who could tell Sheri was trying to be practical ) told Sheri to come to come back after he passed. Sheri felt like he thought she would by a more expensive casket in her grief.
At any rate, Bob had lost the ability to swallow and the expected date went from 10 days to 2 or three in the blink of an eye. 

2 Corinthians 4:16

Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

Living with Bob and "Al"

The beginning of the end chapter 19

Hospice evaluated  "the boys". At first evaluation they thought "they" were in pretty rough shape, Sheri reminded them that he was still under a tremendous amount of drugs. Hospice agreed to reevaluate the next day. When they came back the next day they were surprised to see the "the boys" a little more alert and trying to swallow while being fed. The head hospice nurse said was glad to see him rebound a little. She thought it could be 3-6 months, and explained that everyone is different.
Sheri took a deep breath.

Living with Bob and "Al"

The beginning of the end Chapter 11

Sheri met the ambulance back over at the faculty. "The boys" were sleeping , and Sheri was past the point of exhaustion. She met with staff and explained everything. She let them know that Bob was highly drugged and that he would definitely be out a long time. She covered the paperwork with the them, explained the procedures he had done and to refer to the after care instructions. She asked if they had any questions and they said no. There was only an on call nurse overnight so Sheri explained she would be starting him on hospice care and would call in the morning to speak to the nurse. She peeked in on "the boys" one more time, and then headed home.

Living with Bob and "Al"

The beginning of the end chapter 5

The nurse said they needed to start an IV, "the boys" were restless. In the previous week or so Bob's eyes were closed most of the time, whether sitting or laying or being fed ,but he was also doing very jerky movements with his arms, reaching and grabbing at the air and any thing in reach. Needless to say getting the IV in was a challenge. The ER was busy that late afternoon and there was no one available to help Sheri keep Bob in the bed as she waited for the doctor to assess "the boys". Sheri was frustrated because she was not even clear why they were in this ER battle. The nurse already had an order for some  "calming medicine". Sheri prayed it would kick in soon, because "Al" was already getting his grasping hands tangled in the IV line , Sheri knew it would only be a matter of time before "Al" pulled the IV right out of his arm.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sometimes Sheri sits and studies Bob's face
Now only hoping for peace and for grace.

She studies his eyes, once alert and alive
Now only glassy and closed most of the time.

She studies his jawline, once chiseled and strong
Now only hangs low, Lord this is so wrong

She studies his hands, once callused and rough
Now only thin and soft to the touch

She studies his movements once precise with his saw
Now only erratic... Sheri feels raw.

Sometimes Sheri sits and studies Bob's face
Now only hoping for peace and for grace.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri thanks all her friend for the many inquiries about how Sir Cooper is doing. He is doing very well! He is the sweetest little guy, and has been a great comfort to her. he even comes to work with her most days.  :)

 

Living with Bob and "Al"

Today March 18th is Sheri and Bob's 29th wedding anniversary. This year she did not hide from it. She found the cassette tape of their wedding vows and brought it with her to the facility where "the boys" live. She sat beside him wearing both of their wedding rings. She explained what the tape was. She played it through with no recognition from Bob, she did not expect any... she did it for herself. She is trying hard to reconcile her marriage, feelings of rejection, abandonment, and loneliness in the years before Bob was diagnosed. She paused. she praised, she prayed, she wept.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri has been wearing both Bob's wedding ring and her wedding ring. As she sat in front of  "the boys" she showed him the rings and said "Bob do you know what these are?" "Al" stuttered and stammered and Bob eventually mumbled "wedding wheels." Sheri will take it, God is good.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri got out this morning for some much needed camera and God time. The frost on the trees and the hazy fog was a great reminder that Jesus's blood covers and protects her every single day.
Sheri stopped to pause, pray and pray.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri needs to admit that the "the boys" are not as zombie like as she expected. You can see they are drugged, and hazy eyed, but "they are still some what mobile and verbal. Obviously not sensibly verbal... but there is still some life in "them". Sheri thinks the care the doctor took in adjusting his meds is what has prevented total zombie-ism (is that a word?)  Sheri would encourage everyone to watch the videos she shared the link to a couple of days ago, and make sure the doctor treating your loved one has the same dedication to preserving as much function as possible. She knows this is short lived but she will take it.
Sheri is going to pause , praise and pray.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri woke up this morning realizing that even though she has been involved with this disease for so very many years, and she has read and tried everything she can to stay educated, the reality is that the ugly word "denial" has managed to make its way to the forefront. She and the girls still believe that "if someone would just..., or if his hands were busy with ..." (We ladies are problem solvers.) The problem with that gift is that Alzheimer's is not a problem they can solve. It is a progressive, terminal disease. Sheri knows she and girls have done everything reasonably possible to keep Bob and "Al" safe and cognitively present. As with all diseases she is going to have to turn this over to God . One day at a time is all we are promised.
Sheri's heart hurts.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is facing new challenges everyday, both on a personal level coping with the changes in Bob and the behavioral issues with "Al". She is trying hard to get outside herself, to care about others and their challenges because she looks around and sees a world of pain, this is just her journey and we all have one.
Sheri is going to continue to pause , praise and pray. 

Living with Bob and "Al"

With all do respect for the caregivers working in facilities, Sheri thanks you from the bottom of her heart, she know this is not your fault, and many of you have a deep love for caring for our loved ones. She is learning however,  that "Memory care" can be a loose term. Sheri needs to think about solutions and help advocate for better staffing, better pay and better dementia training for caregivers, along with better communication to families. It takes a village to care for an Alzheimer victim. Sheri needs to pause, praise and pray.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri's feelings about the holidays are stagnated this year. She does not want to think about old traditions or memories, and she does not want to participate in new ones. She knows this may not be the healthiest way of dealing with life, she is not looking for sympathy or ideas, she just knows that for many different reasons and for many different people, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do, and its okay.
Sheri is going to pause, praise and pray. (and she really needs some camera time :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

If Sheri were honest she would tell you that she can't believe she is having an Open House at the Dunn Brothers in Hopkins tomorrow, for others to see her photography on canvas.  This is something way outside her comfort zone. She is trying to learn to live right across that comfort line...or how will she grow?

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is going to try harder to focus on the needs of others around her. She can not change the direction of the illness that has replaced Bob with "Al", but she can change the direction of her hearts energy toward others in need of love and prayer without feeling like she has abandon Bob. Life is so precious and short. Sheri needs to pause, praise and pray.