Living with Bob and "Al"

Bob's life spent silent, Al wants to talk...
Remembering stories, of Bob's life walk

Bob thinks of people he once knew well
Al's stories are all jumbled, buy only I can tell

The words are there on the tip of Al's tongue
But Bob swallows hard , and just that fast they are gone.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri had Bob screwing nuts on bolts again yesterday evening. Right away "Al" began to chuckle explaining that he had handed out these bolts at "work" (code for Adult Day Center) but none of his team could do this task, not even when he put 3 of them together to work on it, they are just not that swift.   :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri goes through cycle of grief, she never really knows when it is going to hit but she knows the cycles are there. While at church on Sunday she realized something else, a feeling she is less familial with and keeps hidden much better. She is angry, plain and simple, she is angry. She is angry that she is on this journey, angry about the loss of their family home, angry that Bob can't find the bathroom, put on his clothes, mow the lawn , or shave with out instruction. She is angry that in 2007 when she and Bob were going to try to work on their marriage that had been failing for many years instead of divorcing, that God would unveil this monster of a disease. She is angry and feels abandon by Bob. She is angry her daughters have lost there father. She is angry that the world had to wait till it shows up on the big screen before some one pays attention, while people have been living this hell watching their lives go by, but without popcorn or the ability to leave it behind,  because there is no end to the movie or Oscar bow.
Sheri know's this is not Bob's fault. She knows any attention to Alzheimer's is important and she is grateful for the exposure of songs and movies about the disease. She knows she is not alone and that God has a plan for her life. She also knows now that is okay to be angry and to take her anger to God in intimate prayer.
Thank you Pastor Justin,  I needed to hear that.
Now she will pull herself up by her boot straps and get on with the day.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri was washing dishes this weekend and was letting Bob help. "Al" was pleased to be drying the dishes the best he could. When they finished the dishes Sheri mentioned to Bob that he could sit down, rest his back and keep working on the puzzle he had been putzing with all weekend. "Al" sat down, looked at the puzzle pieces and said to Sheri "these look like they have all been dried already," "yes" he repeated to himself with confidence as he inspecting one of the pieces "these are all dried up already. so I guess I am done"   :)
heavy sigh...

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri had the opportunity to have lunch with a beautiful lady on Friday. A very sweet lady that is the mother of a young woman Sheri worked with  many years ago, someone she always felt close to. This sweet lady ( the mother) has had her own "Al" for many years too. It was a blessing to spend time together and talk about things that are hard to talk about with someone who has not walked our walk. God gives us people in our past because He knew back then we would need each other in our future. God is good.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri needs to remember that her life's journey was written long before the tragedy of "Al". Sheri needs to pause, praise and pray.

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosperyou and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Living with Bob and "Al"

The bitter cold in the frozen tundra this winter, has kept Sheri from working on her commitment of getting out more with Bob and "Al" this season. Well,  that is her story anyway... and she is sticking to it.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Bob has a very nice heavy winter coat. It has two different zippers, one for the inner closure and the main one that closes the front of the coat. (we live in the frozen tundra you know) anyway, the zippers are two different sizes as well. "Al" managed to hook and zip one half of each zipper half way together. Sheri guesses those big strong hands of "Al"s had to work long and hard to get that unmatched zipper pulled half way up Bob's chest because when Sheri got him home the only way she  could get "Al" out of Bob's coat was to wiggle his arms out of the sleeves one at a time and slide the coat down and have 6 foot 4 step out of his coat.
Oh vey...

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri was remembering a time (many years before Bob's diagnosis in 2008)  when "Al" had pockets full of note cards with bits of information on them. Bob would spread them out on the bed and shuffle and re shuffle them many times during the day. Sheri often wonder what he was doing. Bob was apparently trying to organize and re-organize "Al's" day. Sheri had no idea Bob's brain was so crowded. :(

Living with Bob and "Al"

"Al" keeps telling everyone that his employees call him "Mr." Bob at work (code for Adult Day Center). Sheri remembers the root of the "Mr. Bob" story... and it is not a pretty one. :)