Living with Bob and "Al"

Today is Sheri and Bob's 26th Wedding Anniversary, another years past with "Al"

Sheri wonders what "Bob" would say, if his voice was all his own.
Would he say "Sheri when you leave the room... I feel all alone".
Would he say "thank you', for taking care of the family
Would he say "your eyes look tired', and wipe the tears he see's?
Would he know that open arms, are an invitation to hold her tight
Would he know she needs him in the darkest part of night.
Would he say he loves her like the day that they were wed
Would one look be enough to feel the love, even with words unsaid
Sheri wonders what would Bob say if his voice was all his own
But Bob's voice is a whisper...and Sheri feels... alone.

Genesis 2:18 

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri tried something different and paid a little more to take "Al" to "work" on a Saturday, in order to try to make heads or tales of things needing to be done to move from this tiny house she rented.  She learned that Bob's confusion and disorientation is worse then she thought. The structure is a little different there on Saturday and with fewer people. She thought that since he goes there 5 days a week full time it should be fine, however when Sheri picked him up she asked him how his day was, his response was unexpected to say the least. "Al" said that she had not taken him to the same place and he did not know if she was coming back to get him. Sheri said well of course she was coming to get him. "Al" said again it was not the right place but he did see Sheri's pictures there ( Sheri had donated some flower pictures for their walls) and he was not sure how they got there. Bob was in total confusion by just that little change, and of course she heard the story 5 or 6 times on the way home. Well at least she knows he was safe during that time.  :(

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri stepped way outside her comfort zone last week, and took the whole family ( including Bob and "Al") to Texas for her parents 60th wedding anniversary celebration. Sheri had not tried traveling with "Al". She must say that having Daughters number One and Two, with her, was such a big help. Overall, things went rather well, and the things that didn't, were expected. The most important thing was sharing in her parents special day and that they did! Sheri's parents were dancers their whole lives. Square dancing and round dancing were their passions and her Mother's wish was to dance with her husband again for her anniversary. Her Mother did not let her paralysis (from a car accident several years ago) stop her from achieving her wish, her aid was down by the ground steadying her feet and helped her pull herself to a standing position and ... they danced. It was a beautiful display of love and commitment.

 

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri knows she goes through cycles of emotions. She tries hard to stay on track with her "live one moment at a time" theory. She knows in her mind there is no use dwelling on the situation, but her heart sometimes persuades her head to touch the emotions she keeps buried about this "Alzheimer" world she lives in. Having just had their 25th anniversary, and Bob's birthday, Sheri feels like she may be a tad bit stuck in that "place" right now. She has learned that she just needs to ride it out, it is what it is and as it is with all grief... it's okay to feel it.

Philippians 4:6-7Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri may look like she handles all of this fairly well, but Alzheimer's disease is thief of all memories, and not just for Bob. Daughter number 1 ( the one who wears her heart on her sleeve) and daughter number 2 ( the one who shields her heart with her sleeve) are also getting robbed. Not only do they lose their past, they lose their future. They lose their future in the fears and tears of  "where they will be next year on this journey". Every holiday becomes ( in the mind) a question of how much worse will it be... and yet the old memories become unbearable for the heart. A slow and painful death of relationship is what this is.Yes, Sheri and the girls laugh, laughing masks the fear and the pain, and laughing produces tears, so no one can tell when they're crying.

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. 

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri knows photographs can be deceiving. On their 25th anniversary Bob was prompted to kiss Sheri. To her surprise he did. By looking at the picture no one would ever know it has been years since any display of affection had been shared by Bob or "Al", and when she showed Bob the picture he had no recollection of the event. But Sheri is grateful just the same.

Psalm 34:18

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
    and saves the crushed in spirit.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri can not convince "Bob'' to leave his wedding ring on his left hand. "Al's" logic is simple. When Sheri says "Bob your wedding ring goes on your left hand." "Al" replies " that can't be correct, because I am right handed." :)
Well, there you have it, and does it really matter anyway?

Living with Bob and "Al"

In Sheri's never ending desire to have some sign of romance in her life, the day before Sheri and Bob's anniversary, she thought she would see if Bob wanted to pick out a card for her, and she would pick one out for him. She explained it was their 25 anniversary and off they went to the local Hallmark store. Not a safe place for Sheri due to the mushablitly factor, (and yes I made up that word). Anyway, Sheri stood Bob in front of the right card section and said to try to pick something out. "Al" however was distracted and kept wandering over the birthday, humorous and sympathy cards. Sheri redirected and reminded him what he was looking and eventuality Bob had an anniversary card in his hand. Sheri took the card ( with out peaking at it of course, still hoping for that surprise factor for the next day) and they went home. On the morning of their anniversary Sheri got the card and gave it to Bob and said  "Okay, why don't you sign this because it is our anniversary today and I will go sign yours." Sheri walked into the kitchen with a smile on her face quite pleased with her version of "You've got Mail". Sheri had not been out of room for more then a few seconds and she hears "Al" saying " Excuse me, excuse me" Sheri steps back in to the living room and says "whats the matter", "Al"  with a look of total confusion on his face replies "Who do I make this out to?"
Ah... the best laid plans  :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri and Bob had a wonderful anniversary. They went to dinner with family and friends and had just a delightful time. Sheri is blessed, that is just all there is to it. God is good.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri has been married to "Al" for 7 years now, but today is Bob and Sheri's 25th Wedding Anniversary. A good day to pause. praise and pray.
                                     

March 18, 2014

March 18, 1989

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri looks around her and sees so many people in pain. Everybody has their own journey. All journeys involve joy, sadness, comfort and fear. It may be cancer, a disability, Alzheimer's or other Dementia's and so many other diseases. People are plucked from this earth daily. So if it true that we all have a journey, then what is the purpose of all this? Sheri has learned that for her, the purpose is to learn "faith". Faith is "believing that God is who He says He is, and that He will do what He says He is going to do, even when you can not see the result of that faith".
So Sheri is trying to look at her journey with Bob and "Al" and have faith that this is Gods plan for her. One day at time, one moment at a time. It is a struggle, there are no easy answers. She is lonely and her life is not what she expected. But her life is what God expected. :)

Hebrews
1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. 2 This is what the ancients were commended for.
. 

Living with Bob and "Al"

"Al" is positive Zoey the cat ran off with his watch again, when in fact this time it was the M & M man. :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri has been struggling in her heart about whether or not to do anything to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary in March. Sometimes Sheri thinks it would be to painful, but then her very wise Daughter Number One said "Mom, it is totally up to you, but the anniversary is about celebrating the commitment of the marriage and you certainly have reason to celebrate that." Thank you Daughter Number One, you are so very grown up now. :)