Living with Bob and "Al"

It was another long weekend in the frozen tundra. Minus zero temps meant outside options were really, well... not an option. At the suggestion of Daughter Number 1 (the one who wears her heart on her sleeve), Sheri tried coloring with Bob and "Al". She tried this about 2 years ago and Bob was very upset and said "And why exactly, am I doing this?" Well lots of things have changed in the past couple of years, and Bob did not question this new task. Two things happened. "Al"decided he would  rather color the on the cover of coloring book, while Bob (the Mr. Fixit that he was)  was preoccupied trying to figure out why the color pencil would not work on the waxy cover of the coloring book. :)
Simple pleasures, Sheri, simple pleasures.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri had Bob's care conference with the Day Center this week. They see what Sheri sees."Al" is in a pretty big cognitive slide, and as with all slides they only go one direction. :(
Sheri needs to adjust the plan, and pause ,praise, and pray.

Living with Bob and "Al"

"Al" was struggling to put Bob's belt through the belt loops on Bob's jeans yesterday morning. Sheri is sure that the fact that the belt "Al" was using, was really Sheri's camera strap might have had something to do with it.  ;)

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri has been very lucky that "Al" is complacent and passive, but for some reason "their" shoes are very important to "them" and after taking them off "they" want to put them right back on. "They" would sleep with them on if Sheri let them. She knows she is suppose to pick her battles, but trying not to get kicked at night by shoes... is a battle she is picking, well at least for now :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri had Bob screwing nuts on bolts again yesterday evening. Right away "Al" began to chuckle explaining that he had handed out these bolts at "work" (code for Adult Day Center) but none of his team could do this task, not even when he put 3 of them together to work on it, they are just not that swift.   :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

When Sheri picked up Bob from "work" (code for Adult Day Center) and they got in the car Bob started chattering right away. He was happy has a clam. "Al" had been on a trip to the mountains and recognized the area because he had been there before and knew his way around. He explained that he spent most of the day trying to get all the layouts right in the store, which in the same breath "Al" asked Sheri if Mom was at work, because he tried to call her several times today. Bob has not used a phone in many years, but it was probably good he did not reach Sheri anyway because being in the mountains and all... the cell reception would have been terrible. :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is tired with nothing to share, all the balls just keeping falling right out of the air.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sometimes it seems like changes happen daily. Sheri did not realize till yesterday, that "Al" can no longer sign Bob"s name.
Sheri hates this disease.
2 Corinthians 4:16 
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

Living with Bob and "Al"

It was not quite as frozen in the frozen tundra as January usually is yesterday, so Sheri followed her own advice and filled the car with Bob,"Al" and her camera and headed to the Minnesota Zoo.  It was clearly what the doctor would have ordered, and with the exception of having to ask a kind stranger to retrieve "Al" from the men's restroom,( he could not find his way out) all went rather well  :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri can see the growing confusion on Bob's face. Some of the very simple concepts in life are causing distress for "Al". Sheri thinks Bob's "nonchalant" whistling is"Al's" outward defense mechanism to "I am confused and have know idea what I am doing."

  

If the pressure is getting to you, whistle. In a barely audible way. It's the best way I know of to let go of tension. Music gets your mind off the situation, and the act of whistling melts the tension out of your body.

Fuzzy Zoeller

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is pretty sure the  logical part of Bob is gone. Sheri took Bob to the store yesterday. They live in the frozen tundra of Minnesota which means parking lots and and sidewalks are full of snow, ice and slush. Sheri tries very hard all winter to keep him safe and prevent falls. Bob walks with a cane, because of the terrible condition of his back, and because his knee will just suddenly give out from under him. Sheri parked the car, told Bob to get out and then got out of the car herself. Bob is 6 foot 4 so when she looked across the top car to tell Bob to come to her, Sheri could see Bob was walking in a strange way but she could only see his head and a bit of his shoulders. So as she was approaching him around the back of the car, she was panicking and said "What is wrong?" As Bob came out from the back of the car he replied "nothing". Sheri looked down to see that "Al" was trying to walk on Bob's heels, toes up in the air and carrying Bob's cane up in the air! Sheri, very frustrated said "Bob stop doing that, you are going to fall in the ice!" "Al" with the same frustration in his voice replied "But I don't want to get my shoes wet."

Oy vey... calgon take me away.

Living with Bob and "Al"

In Sheri's never ending quest to find things that Bob can still do, she came across something that made her smile. Earlier in his disease, Sheri would let Bob put all of the papers with account numbers through the shredder for her, it reached the point however where "Al's" frustration out weighted the benefit of having him do this task. He could not remember which button to push, or understand that it had to cool down every once in while. Over the holidays Sheri saw these. This was the highlight of the weekend for Bob, Shredding Scissors! Sheri had never seen these before but this new activity kept Bob and "Al" busy for hours, and Sheri got the important stuff shredded! Now that is what Sheri calls a success. :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri and Bob liked to bowl which is something Bob can not do any more physically. Sheri tried Wii bowling with him, something they had done quite a few years ago when the girls were younger. Sheri and Daughter Number One had to keep showing "Al" which buttons to push and so forth each turn but he really enjoyed it. Sheri thinks he really though he was in a bowling alley because for those of you have seen or done Wii bowling you remember there are other people (Me's) on either side in lanes to simulate an alley, well "Al" would ask " Is he done?" and point to the other person on the screen before he would take his turn, always such a considerate man :)
So funny.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri has reached the understanding that it better to let "Al" sweep the floor, (in his way) than to have Bob feel like he can do nothing. Then since the little piles he makes all over the house stay there because he forgets to pick them them up... there is always plenty of the dust for the next go round in say a half hour or so.   :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

Bob had a choir event at "work" (code for Adult Day Center) yesterday. On the way home "Al" asked Sheri "Have you been singing in a group where you work?"  :)
Gotta smile it is so sweet.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri figured something out yesterday. She realized that whatever Bob is doing right in the moment is what "Al" did at "work" (code for Adult Day Center) that day. Last week Sheri had him peeling potatoes at home and out came a story of "Al" peeling potatoes at "work" and how they only ask him to peel the potato's. Then yesterday Sheri had Bob attempt to sweep the kitchen floor and a story unfolded about "Al" sweeping the floor at "work" and they had only asked him to do this. The same sequence of conversation continued as she let him try to dry the dishes she was washing.  "Al" repeated theses stories over and over until he fell asleep last night. Sheri is glad he feels important, sad that this is what Bob's hardworking life has come to.
This disease is very hard to watch.

2 Corinthians 4:16
16 Therefore we do not give up; even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day.   

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri does not know what it means in terms of Bob's decline, but Bob will take off his seat belt at Sheri's direction, but it will get no further then the middle of Bob's chest before "Al" is trying to refasten it. This can happen several times in row. Sheri guesses this would be a good example of the old saying " Sometimes I am not sure if I am coming or going."  :)
My life in a nut shell.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Bob was drinking his coffee yesterday morning when  "Al" turned to her and said " You know who I haven't  heard from lately... Iris." Sheri was caught of guard, Iris his oldest sister died many, many years ago 1984 Sheri thinks. Sheri has known for a while that Bob has moved into losing long term memory but she just was not prepared for this stage. Sheri just nodded, and redirected the conversation.
Subtle changes,  Sheri hates this disease.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is going to try and do some holiday baking today, she needs to find something for Bob and"Al" to help with.... maybe she can find a cookie recipe with peeled potatoes in it  :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is seeing so very many subtle changes in Bob. "Al" has convinced him he does not know his age, or how to dress and undress, where to hang his coat, read his watch, and find the door. "Al" has taken Bob's freedom, his confidence, his common sense, the views on life she knows he had, but the very essence of the man has been putting up a good fight, his soft brown eyes although confused still smile has he says "how would I know that?"