Living with Bob and "Al"

The beginning of the end Chapter 30

Bob entered the kingdom of heaven on May 22nd lifted up in the arms of angels, He was escorted there by the sounds of his girls playing the guitar and singing "Hallelujah", Sheri can not think of a better way to enter the presence of God. Amen?

Psalm 16:11 “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

Living with Bob and "Al"

The beginning of the end chapter 29

If Sheri were truthful ( which she promised she would be years ago, about this journey) she would tell you that she carried a lot of resentment about that last trip to the emergency room. Her human nature wanted someone..or something to blame for this decline with Bob and "Al". Sheri knows however, that the last trip to the emergency room was a blessing in one important way. You see the brain MRI they did on that exhausting , seemingly pointless visit to the ER, showed that "Al" had completely taken over Bob's brain and ability for Bob to tell his body what do was gone. This, in reality, was assurance, a blessing in disguise, that Sheri had done absolutely everything she could do for "the boys". This was never in her control and she needed a clear, strong sign that God had them (all of them) resting in the palm of HIS hand.

 For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” Isaiah 30:15

Living with Bob and "Al"

The beginning of the end Chapter 6

Sheri waited patiently ( "the boy's" impatiently) for the doctor to come in and evaluate Bob's condition. About a half hour to 45 minutes in, a female doctor came in and read the chart and then turned to Sheri and asked why we were here what types of changes the facility had seen. Sheri took a deep breath and tried to explain what she knew. The doctor said they need to run a battery of tests and listed off a chest x-ray (Bob was coughing), blood work, a urine sample, and head CT scan. The doctor did her best to explain to Sheri why the tests needed to be done, Sheri said she felt that this was just a progression of the disease after all they were 10 years plus in this monster called Alzheimer's. The problem with that assumption apparently, was that the facility needed to know what was happening, because the 2 person assist was a change. They scheduled the tests and the first one, the urine test, was not attainable with out a catheter. The calming medicine they gave "the boys" was not working, they gave a second dose but to no avail. Sheri spent the next five minutes or so assisting the 2 nurses by laying across 6'4,strong as an ox Bob's chest holding "them" down while the nurses inserted the catheter. Bob and "Al" cried out in pain, Sheri went into her familiar survival mode (at least on the outside) on inside she was weeping uncontrollably.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri has always said she would be honest about this journey, and she has done her best to do that.  The whole system needs to be overhauled, she does not know what that means or what it looks like, but the gaps in communication are wide. There are truly loving caring people working and caring for "the boys" for which she will be forever grateful, but the system is truly broken.
Sheri needs to pause, praise and pray, she knows God will hear her prayers through the fog.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri and the girls celebrated Bob and "Al's" 75th birthday together yesterday. The activities coordinator made "the boys" a chocolate cake! So very sweet of her :) All you have to say is chocolate to Bob to get "Al" to step out of the way for a very brief  moment. :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is facing new challenges everyday, both on a personal level coping with the changes in Bob and the behavioral issues with "Al". She is trying hard to get outside herself, to care about others and their challenges because she looks around and sees a world of pain, this is just her journey and we all have one.
Sheri is going to continue to pause , praise and pray. 

Living with Bob and "Al"

After much thought and prayer, Sheri fulfilled daughter number 2's wish to have her Dad at her new home where the player piano found its new home. So as a family we made it happen. the tears at the end make the effort worth it. It is not the voices that are important it is what is in the heart. God is good.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri had Bronchitis for almost 2 weeks, and had been unable to visit "the boys". She managed to get out there for a meeting yesterday. Bob has these sores that "Al" keeps picking at. They have tried keeping them covered but to no avail. While she was there she tried to convince Bob to stop picking at the sores. "Al' looked at Sheri and said " well no this works fine they just pop right out of the ground."
Heavy sigh....

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri's feelings about the holidays are stagnated this year. She does not want to think about old traditions or memories, and she does not want to participate in new ones. She knows this may not be the healthiest way of dealing with life, she is not looking for sympathy or ideas, she just knows that for many different reasons and for many different people, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do, and its okay.
Sheri is going to pause, praise and pray. (and she really needs some camera time :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri finally got in some much needed camera time. That singular focus through the camera lens on God's amazing creations is what allows her to focus on the Lord and get off of her self pity. She has been spending way to much time wallowing in her losses and not enough time in the present, caring for others,  and in the presence of the  Lord.
Sheri needs to pause, praise and pray.

Living with Bob and "Al"

In Sheri's never ending attempt to keep Bob active and engaged, she found something that makes "the boys" happy. Simple pleasures Sheri simple pleasures. :)

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri has been searching for a part of her herself she felt was lost. The part where the Holy Spirit holds her, leads her, comforts her and gives her the strength to be brave and courageous in the short life given to us. She knows the Holy Spirit was with her guiding the time she spent caring for Bob and "Al" but some how she forgot to follow the prompting to care for herself. Today is a new day by the grace of God.
Sheri will pause, praise and pray.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is realizing that fear plays a much bigger role in her life than she believed it did.
(Work'in on that.)

Deuteronomy  31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri knows she said she was going to look forward instead of backwards, but what is behind her keeps creeping into what is in front of her as she steps in and out of Bob and "Al's" life. :(

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri needs to switch Bob to all over the head shirts, because "Al's" new pass time is removing all the buttons he can see. such a busy guy :(

Living with Bob and "Al"

When Sheri was visiting "the boys" this weekend, Bob carefully pointed out which of his employees were the best workers. Then "Al" pointed to a dear man confined to a wheel chair and said "Him... not so much."
God bless them all.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is amazed that Bob has acclimated so well to his new home.  He is more stable now then he was with Sheri. Sheri is pleased with that and thankful for the relief of the stress of caring for "them". But there is still a tangled web of feelings with the entire situation, she knows it will take time and it is what it is, but she is still trying to share this journey as honestly as she can. So there you have it.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri will find joy at the park today
The sweet sound of the birds
The innocence of the deer in the woods near by

This is where Sheri finds solace.
In the small smiles of life.

Matthew 6:25

...Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to to his life?

Living with Bob and "Al"

Part 2 of last weeks emergency room visit:

Sheri waited patiently for the nurse to answer her question, she was busy typing in information so Sheri repeated, "Is someone back there with him? He has Alzheimer's and can not self assess or answer questions." The nurse replied "I just need a few signatures and we can get you back there asap." Sheri's head was imagining all kinds of things going on back there. When she finally got back there and moved the curtain back "Al" was in the bed with those sticky things all over Bob's chest. Bob was alone behind the print curtain."Al's" face was distraught with a blank yet confused expression on his face. All Sheri could think about was that she had spent the last 9 years of he life making sure Bob and "Al" were never left alone, and here he was alone and scared. :(

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri had quite the scare yesterday. She received a call from Bob and "Al's" new home , the nurse on the other end's voice was steady but without the usual lift in her voice. She said that Bob had choked on his food at lunch and they did the Heimlich Maneuver twice but "Al" was still clutching Bob's chest, and an ambulance was on its way. Sheri being 30 minutes away jumped in her car and headed out. Over the next few days Sheri is going to recount this experience for you, but for now know that "they" are back safe and sound in their new home. Somehow, someway something MUST change in the way of communication in a hospital setting when someone has a cognitive impairment such as advanced Alzheimer's. It MUST change. There was no abuse or anything like that, everyone was wonderful, but the lack of understanding the disease and how it affects daily life is incredible.