Sheri used to wonder why people felt they still needed to recognize special days after their loved ones were gone. After all an anniversary is recognition of how long they have been together... so the fact that today "would have been" Sheri and Bob's 30th wedding anniversary, really should not be considered an anniversary at all. Sheri thinks she gets it now.
Heavy sigh, Sheri is going to pause, praise and pray.

Sheri is trying hard to just go with flow, as she navigates these deep swings of joy and sorrow. To be honest most days she just focuses on work and hopes she can keep it together. She is not looking for sympathy, she is just sharing so you might know what others in your life who are grieving, are going through.
Sheri needs to pause, praise and pray.

Living with Bob and "Al"

The beginning of the end Chapter 30

Bob entered the kingdom of heaven on May 22nd lifted up in the arms of angels, He was escorted there by the sounds of his girls playing the guitar and singing "Hallelujah", Sheri can not think of a better way to enter the presence of God. Amen?

Psalm 16:11 “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

Living with Bob and "Al"

The beginning of the end chapter 25

Bob and "Al" were in a shared room, and because both of her daughters and their husbands were there constantly, they allowed Bob and "Al" to move to another room they needed privacy desperately. The faculty only had one other room available, they were using half of the room for storage of new kitchen cabinets stacked double high that were to be installed next week. The smell of fresh wood, stain and cardboard permeated the room. Has they have done so many times before on this very long journey, Sheri and the girls had tearful giggles knowing that Bob, the fix anything, build any thing man was right at home, these were smells that Bob would not have found offensive, as Bob the man who managed a hardware store and mixed paint all day, was very familiar with. The irony of the situation brought more laughter, that was really grief running down their faces.

Revelation 21:4 “And God will wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there will be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.”

Living with Bob and "Al"

The beginning of the end Chapter 13

Sheri quickly called back the number. Sheri said who she was and apologized for missing the calls and inquired about what was happening. She replied that they were sending him over to the emergency room, because he was not responding to the staff , that he had a bloody discharge coming out of his male parts and that usually he is way more alert. Sheri held her tongue, well somewhat. in a tone that was pretty much yelling into the phone "Absolutely not! We just spent 8 hours there! I am meeting with hospice in the morning !" (All the while Sheri is holding her cell phone up by her shoulder as she scrambled to get dressed ) The on call nurse said "I see the notes... but he is not on hospice yet , so we have to address the staffs concerns." Sheri finally pulled up her big girl panties and said "you are not sending him anywhere, I am 30 minutes away, I will be there and stay with him until hospice comes to meet with me in the morning, do NOT send him to the hospital! "

Sheri needed to pause, praise and pray. She did not. She was reliving the past 24 hours and was struggling to fight back tears so she could drive.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is working hard on centering her life around Christ instead of "self", because she knows she not still walking on this earth because of her own abilities.  It is only through the Grace of God she is able to share her journey, and she is nothing without Him.
Sheri will continue to Pause Praise and Pray.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri needs to admit that the "the boys" are not as zombie like as she expected. You can see they are drugged, and hazy eyed, but "they are still some what mobile and verbal. Obviously not sensibly verbal... but there is still some life in "them". Sheri thinks the care the doctor took in adjusting his meds is what has prevented total zombie-ism (is that a word?)  Sheri would encourage everyone to watch the videos she shared the link to a couple of days ago, and make sure the doctor treating your loved one has the same dedication to preserving as much function as possible. She knows this is short lived but she will take it.
Sheri is going to pause , praise and pray.

Livng with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is realizing just how deep she has been stuffing her emotions for so many years, it was a protective skin that allowed her to continue to face each day.  She knows that sounds a little weird, but she has been in what she refers to has "survival mode" for over ten years, and almost a year after Bob's placement the dam seems to be bursting ... daily. Excepting Bob's recent aggressive behavior and the major slide he is in from afar, and knowing she can not fix this is finally becoming real to her. Thanks to praying friends and those walking with her, she is still hanging on by a thread and often can not write her feelings away. Sheri knows she has a purpose in this life, God is carrying her through this part of her journey, because she is definitely to weak to walk.

  

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is sad to say things are not going well with Sir Cooper. Without going into great detail, the Vet says he is just not thriving. The vet started him on steroids yesterday and his is on 2 other meds as well. The Vet is feeling like this may be a congenital disorder of some type. Continued prayers appreciated.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri took some much needed camera time this weekend. God's glory and peace was everywhere.
God is good.

Living with Bob and "Al"

When Sheri looks around at the state of our world, she is able to see how minute her sorrow really is. She is trying to think beyond herself and her own grief, and see what kind of impact she can make in her small piece of the world.
Sheri needs to pause, praise and pray.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri was looking back through some old pictures. It seems like a lifetime ago that Bob was leaving notes for "Al" all over the house. Giving himself instructions on how to do life. Learning to appreciate where they are in their disease and live in the moment, is lesson Sheri learned too late. Pause and live life with them, it changes quickly.

Living with Bob and "Al"

Sheri is still struggling to find herself, she knows it will take time. She took Sir Cooper to the park last evening. Every few minutes she would get stopped by a couple walking together, some young some old. They wanted to know if they could pet Cooper. They would smile and laugh with each other as the wife would beg hubby to get a "Cooper" in their life.
 Sheri's heart hurts.