This blog is about life with my husband who was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's and Frontal Lobe Dementia in 2008. He was 64 at the time although now, knowing more about the disease, Alzheimer's was present many, many years ago, which is why early detection is so important. As you read the blog the character"Al" that I created in 2008 represents the way that Alzheimer's is invading our daily lives.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Living with Bob and "Al"

There have been many difficult changes in "Al" and Sheri has moved her line in the sand many times, but she has been looking at different options for placement. She has been trying to take a logical approach, but honestly there are no good choices here. That is not to say there are not good places, she just means that no one should ever have to make a decision between self preservation and  knowing a choice you make will bring about a substantial decline in a loved ones life. Sheri is trying to be honest about her feelings. She knows others must be struggling with this as well. She hears over and over from her readers that they appreciate feeling connected with her on this journey, so Sheri is going to continue to share this process here. Please know she is not asking for pity about the situation she knows it is what it is. Her emotions are raw right now and she is human. As hard as it is she will continue to Pause, Praise and Pray.

7 comments:

  1. Oh Sheri, what a difficult decision we all eventually face in this terrible disease. I have to keep telling myself that I owe it to my family to take care of myself and that soon my husband will become more than I can or should be able to help. I don't think my husband would want me to sacrifice my health and relationships with our children and grandchildren. We must be grateful for our journey so far and recognize when it is time to let go. And thank God for the wonderful places now available to care for our loved ones when we no longer can. Good luck! Let go and let God!

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  2. Sheri, don't be so hard on yourself! You have given so much to Bob and to all your blog readers! My thoughts and prayers are with you in these tough but necessary decisions, and I know you will do what is best and what you have to do. This guilt is an awful thing for dementia caregivers. I know it's because of your deep love, but you know this is a losing battle and you do have to take care of yourself.

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  3. You are only human, and his care is more than one human can do. You've already gone way beyond what any reasonable person could have coped with. I truly believe it is a loving thing to place someone when you know that it is best, even if it isn't what you would like to do, personally.

    So even though you know it's right, and you have faith in God that it's the right thing to do, thank you for being open that it's painful. You are amazing. x

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  4. Dear Sheri. It's a terrible decision, and one that I have already taken. I have found great consolation in seeing that although my husband is different in care, he is not necessarily worse off. he may be 'worse' from MY point of view, but he is safer (psychologically and physically) and more relaxed, because no longer challenged by many everyday activities which he knows, at some level, that he should be able to do, knows that he used to be able to do them, can see others who can do them, and yet cannot do them himself. Praying is definitely, definitely in order. Much love.

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  5. Dear Sheri. It's a terrible decision, and one that I have already taken. I have found great consolation in seeing that although my husband is different in care, he is not necessarily worse off. he may be 'worse' from MY point of view, but he is safer (psychologically and physically) and more relaxed, because no longer challenged by many everyday activities which he knows, at some level, that he should be able to do, knows that he used to be able to do them, can see others who can do them, and yet cannot do them himself. Praying is definitely, definitely in order. Much love.

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