I am angry. I am angry about all the losses I have not been able to grieve, and that now 9 years later I can not breathe, because if I exhale there with be a wave of grief strong enough to part the Red Sea.
I am angry about all the years I have spent trying to protect him from this very thing and here I am defeated.
I am angry about all the times my children did not get the attention they deserved because the life a "single" parent, breadwinner, and roll of "wife" of a husband with Alzheimer's and Frontal Lobe Dementia took more out of life then I had to give.
I am angry that I have felt alone for a very, very long time in a marriage in which togetherness has not existed and yet he has been in my presence.
There are so many things I am angry about as I look back over the years, I trusted you Lord, and will trust you again, but at the moment my anger is manifesting itself in grief and pain and I can pause and pray but I can not praise.
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