I am angry. I am angry about all the losses I have not been able to grieve, and that now 9 years later I can not breathe, because if I exhale there with be a wave of grief strong enough to part the Red Sea.
I am angry about all the years I have spent trying to protect him from this very thing and here I am defeated.
I am angry about all the times my children did not get the attention they deserved because the life a "single" parent, breadwinner, and roll of "wife" of a husband with Alzheimer's and Frontal Lobe Dementia took more out of life then I had to give.
I am angry that I have felt alone for a very, very long time in a marriage in which togetherness has not existed and yet he has been in my presence.
There are so many things I am angry about as I look back over the years, I trusted you Lord, and will trust you again, but at the moment my anger is manifesting itself in grief and pain and I can pause and pray but I can not praise.
This blog is about life with my husband who was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's and Frontal Lobe Dementia in 2008. He was 64 at the time although now, knowing more about the disease, Alzheimer's was present many, many years ago, which is why early detection is so important. As you read the blog the character"Al" that I created in 2008 represents the way that Alzheimer's is invading our daily lives.